I get it. You feel guilty for how Nolan turned out. Because you left him with a brain damaged, (recovered?) crack addict mother, and you didn't fight for him.
But that doesn't mean you can make up for it with my kid.
You are a part time dad, every other weekend, and even then you aren't a dad because you expect me to do it for you. I am not his mother and I cannot undo any of the damage that's been done to him, just like you can't undo any of the damage that's been done to me or Dyson... but my son is not your chance for a do over.
He is my son. And you need to stop trying to be something he doesn't need, because one day, he will resent you for it.
I am already starting to.
You don't have to agree with my parenting style, but you need to respect it. I'm not abusing him, or neglecting him in any way, but sometimes, I think you feel that I am worse of a mother than you ex wife is to your son, and she almost killed him with crack.
I do not understand your way of thinking. And I never will. But if you ever actually want to get married, you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut.