Monday, December 31, 2012

“Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed! ”

I know this might sound like a cop out.  Like a really horrible excuse for giving up on life, but I was so sure... My gut was telling me that the world was going to end, maybe not literally, but the world I knew, that we knew, was going to be over after December 21, 2012.  I have spent this entire year truly believing that there was no reason to worry about the future or plan anything or do anything because the world was going to end, in one way or another.  Alien invasion, zombie apocalypse, war of the worlds, everyone for themselves, Gaia turning on us by throwing every kind of natural disaster at our feet, leaving us homeless, food-less  water-less and in some places, clean airless.

This is what I wanted.  Waking up was so hard because nothing is changing, nothing has changed in so long.  I feel that unless something changes in our world as a whole, something big and life changing, nothing will ever get better.  I won't ever get better.  I feel suck in the same place I've been for 5 years now, mentally and emotionally, and I don't know how to get loose.

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